And I, I never understood what was at stake

I have often mentioned to people how sad I was that I hadn't felt Brad's presence. The night he passed, I had a dream about us. We were at a party, but it was a work night for me, and I wanted to leave so I can go to bed. "I'll meet you there. You see that girl over there? She's too drunk to drive, I'm going to drive her home", he said. "No, boo, I need you to come with me. You have to come home", I said. "I'll meet you there. I'll meet you there." I woke up thinking, what in the world was that dream about? Did he cheat on me? I kind of brushed it off. I now know the significance of this dream I had. He was saying goodbye to me, and telling me he will be there waiting for me. The only other dream I've had since he passed was about 2 1/2 weeks later. I walked into the bathroom and he was in there brushing his teeth. "What are you doing? Do you realize what you put me through? They pronounced you dead at the house. How are you here?", I said. This dream left me so sad. I have been wishing he'd just be in the bathroom, or be on the couch, or in our bed, waiting for me. I now know that it just simply isn't possible. No matter how much I cry or beg or plead, it just isn't going to happen. I have to accept that, even if that breaks my heart. I've been talking to my therapist about others telling me they had dreams in which he appeared. In one he was drinking beer, saying how much he loved it. "Why isn't he coming to me? Is he mad at me? Does he not love me anymore? I don't understand where he is", I said to my therapist on Wednesday of last week. "He will come. If he came now, you wouldn't be ready. You think you would, but you're too vulnerable right now, and he knows that", she replied. On Friday I was treated to a hair cut and color by my generous friend Marissa who works at a salon. Her coworkers donated their time, so I was treated to a spa day. Finding parking in Downtown Naperville is often times the biggest pain anyone from the Chicago suburbs can deal with. A song I have found through random playlists on Spotify started playing. I had been listening to this song for a few days- Vance Joy- Georgia. It happened to be the song that was playing as I parked and walked out of my car. So after Marissa did my color, I was sitting there in the chair, and while getting my hair cut, I was telling Londyn about Brad. I was explaining everything that has happened, our relationship, little things. I hadn't heard much of the music that played that day. I finally started to hear a song being played, and realized it was the same exact song I mentioned above. I was walking out, said goodbye to the both of them, and walked to my car. By the time I got to my car, my face and hands felt numb, and my lip would not stop quivering. It was Brad. He finally came to me. So as I drove home, shaking, lips quivering, and crying- I played this song on repeat. I have never felt something so powerful in my entire life. I'm so happy you finally came to visit me, boo. Thank you for coming, I hope to feel you again very soon.