Coldplay- The Scientist

                                                  

                                                     Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry

                                                        You don't know how lovely you are

I had to find you

Tell you I need you

Tell you I set you apart

Tell me your secrets

And ask me your questions

Oh, let's go back to the start

Running in circles

Coming up tails

Heads on a science apart

Nobody said it was easy

It's such a shame for us to part

Nobody said it was easy

No one ever said it would be this hard

Oh, take me back to the start

I was just guessing

At numbers and figures

Pulling the puzzles apart

Questions of science

Science and progress

Do not speak as loud as my heart

Tell me you love me

Come back and haunt me

Oh, and I rush to the start

Running in circles

Chasing our tails

Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy

Oh, it's such a shame for us to part

Nobody said it was easy

No one ever said it would be so hard

I'm going back to the start

Oh [x4]

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry...

Hi boo. I haven't been here in a while. I have missed you so very much. Today, I officially changed my last name. I wish you were here to see it. I'm really good at pretending all is fine on the outside. The truth is, I am so very terrified of living without you. It isn't fair. Part of me is so scared to be happy because I can't imagine what else could possibly happen. LA was a blast, I wish you had come with me. I saw a psychic who immediately mentioned my emotional pain, lots of loss and tears throughout my lifetime. I don't know why some days hit me so much harder than others. It's such an up and down rollercoaster. It just makes me so sad that you're never coming home. I try to occupy and distract myself as much as humanly possible, but it's only a short resolution. I have never in my entire life had my heart hurt so much. Please come visit me soon boo, it's been so long since I've felt you near me. I need you so terribly. I don't know what I'm doing anymore, I don't know how I'm here without you. Sometimes I feel absolutely nothing, and other times it's all too intense to feel. I just want you to come home and I want everything to be normal again boo. It's not fair that you were taken away from me. I love you so much.

Almost 10 weeks later.

So, here I am. It's almost been 10 weeks. Today, your sister and I went through clothing and picked out what we wanted to use for the quilts of clothing that is being made. After she left, I broke down. The closet looked so bare, and I felt as if you had moved out. I guess part of me will always feel like you're going to walk through the door at any given time. It's silly, and not realistic, but it's how I feel. I then went through a bin of your clothes, I had started a load of laundry before I found you that morning. I kept those clothes in a bin and haven't touched them until today. In there, I found the shirt you were wearing that day that was cut open. I nearly collapses to the floor with it. My heart sank and broke at the same time. I then rearranged the closet so it isn't so bare. It's still VERY surreal to me. I knew it would be hard going through the clothes, but I had absolutely no idea how intense my emotions would get once it was over. The end result, when I have a quilt of your clothing, will be worth it. I guess a lot of times, I put quotes in my blog because sometimes they are exactly what I feel. And sometimes, I just don't have the words. It feels like it's been 9 years, let alone 9 weeks. You feel so distant from me, and it's nothing I've ever imagined in my wildest dreams. If there is anything that I've learned from this, it's that life is too short. We had so much of our lives planned out and it was abruptly stopped and ripped right from under us. Which means, I will no longer stick to plans and not let myself live my life. I hope that I make you proud and I hope that you never truly leave my side. I could never live without you, boo.

"There's a corner of my heart that is yours. And I don't mean for now, or until I find somebody else, I mean forever. I mean to say that whether I fall in love a thousand times over or once or never again, there'll always be a small quiet place in my heart that belongs only to you." Beau Taplin, The Corner.

Tu me manques

“In French, you don’t really say ‘I miss you. You say ‘tu me manques,’ which is closer to ‘you are missing from me.’ I love that.’You are missing from me.’ You are a part of me, you are essential to my being. You are like a limb, or an organ, or blood. I cannot function without you.”   Unknown